Flowers on the Ceiling

Melancholy night; remembering scenes from the past. Wondering what's missing between us, the sheets, and my hands.
-He sits on the couch, almost catatonic, playing Devil May Cry on his Xbox. I walk up behind him and kiss the back of his neck. He shivers, keeps playing.
-Bestie and I sitting on opposite couches, MUTING JEOPARDY because we just want to talk, about things that no one else would understand. Intimacy without touching.
-Late night, early morning, headache and insomnia. Lights turned off, pomegranate candle lit, music playing. "Eyes on Fire" fills the room, making me see scenes of passion and heartache beneath red sheets.
-Five year old girl holding her cousin's hand as they run down the hill in the backyard. Cousin lets go, little girl falls. Rock embeds itself into her knee; takes three days to take it out. Scar remains.
-Lying topless on a Cuban beach, small breeze ruffling my hair as the sun heats my face and toes. A short walk to the water; it's warmer than the air, almost like walking into a tub. On the way back to my room, the smell of jasmine follows me. I can still smell it now.
-Always referred to as "That Friday." We listened to Metallica all night and watched their music videos. Then we laid on your bed to talk. I turned over on my side and you curled up behind me and draped your arm around me. We stayed like that for hours.
-Parked at the lookout behind the new apartment building. Your old Toyota keeping us warm as we undress in mid February weather. Stars hitting the lights of the bridge like fire.
-First day out of hospital, late spring, sixteen years old. Sitting in the middle of woods, notebook and pen in hand. The weight of it as I press it to paper healing my wounds more than the pills can. The feel of the ink on the page whisking me away to places where I can be free.
-Packed bar downtown, Nicky Zee's, my first time barhopping. Last call long gone, last song of the night, slowdance. You pulled me close, we danced. I noticed you smelling my hair, felt you in your jeans, telltale signs of your love for me. Bon Jovi's "Always" playing, so aptly for our situation. You said you thought you'd never have me. Now you do; how do you keep me?