-I was really quite sick last year, both because of my Crohn's and my mental problems, so I had to withdraw from Uni for a semester. It really sucked, and to make matters worse, student loans cut me for a year, so if I wanted to study again in the Fall, I would have to pay it all myself. (Ummmm yeah there's no way right?) So I had to choose between School and my wonderful Fredericton apartment. I chose School. So I packed up my life and moved back to good ole Campbellton, my hometown, where I could live rent free while I struggled to pay for school. I'm gonna be honest: I was DEVASTATED over leaving Fredericton. Little did I know that it would turn out to be the best thing I ever did.
-When I left, things with Magoo and I kinda puttered out. We both realized that we weren't right for each other. We had a great time together, and still love and appreciate each other, but differently now. He still is and always will be one of my Best Friends, and I thank him for everything he's done for me. He'll never know how much he meant/means to me.
-So I moved to Campbellton and lived in my parent's basement for awhile. Mentally, I wasn't really in a good place. I felt like such a failure, like as if I had taken a step back ya know. And then, something amazing happened.
-I met the man of my dreams. Online nonetheless. Sylvain literally is everything I've ever looked for. And surprisingly, he says the same about me. I've never been in love like this. And he's incredible. I could go on gushing for another fourteen paragraphs or so, but I'll spare you the boring details and just say this: I have found the man I'm going to marry and spend the rest of my life with, and I could not be happier.
-On that note, Happiness was hard to find this year. I had a bit of a relapse in January, February, and March, and had started to self-harm again. Sylvain helped me through it all (unbelievably supportive and caring this guy is), and I'm definitely in a better place now. That being said, they've discovered something new about my "crazy" - I don't have Bipolar Mood Disorder after all! Rather, I've been (re)diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. It's easier to treat without medications (so we've stopped some of mine), but it takes longer to treat because it's mostly through therapy. My therapist is an angel. She has helped me so much - with my self-esteem, growing a backbone, learning to say no, and how to deal with the trauma and abuse I've been through. So it's been a long road, and it's going to be longer still, but I know now that things WILL get better. There's a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm not afraid anymore.
-Some other sad but happy news is this: my 91 (almost 92) year old grandmother has begun a very slow descent into dementia/Alzheimers. It's been going on for quite some time now, but last fall, it got bad enough that she couldn't stay in her home alone anymore. We were always terrified that she would fall down the (many) stairs or that she wasn't eating properly... It was just really stressful and heartbreaking. Especially since this is the Grams that I grew up living next to my whole life. Her and Grampy were fixtures in my childhood that time just can't erase or replace. And so in November, she was placed in a Nursing Home. It was hard, and quite the adjustment, but you know what? She's happy there. She is still really confused some days, but she knows she's better off there than here. I say "here" because we decided that instead of tearing the old house down (this is the house that my Father grew up in; it's 66 years old and beautiful), I would move in and take care of it until we can figure out what to do with it and whatnot. I love this house so much; I have so many wonderful memories here. (I'll be posting pics soon, of all the wonderful things this house has to offer). So it was very sad news that Grammy had to leave, but somewhat happy news that I now have a space of my own. I feel a little less of a failure now that I'm no longer in my parent's basement.
There, now that all that has been said, here a few other reasons I haven't been blogging:
--My OCD has hit brand new levels of weird and comical. I now organize my purse and work bag on a weekly basis, making sure that I have a little pouch full of necessities, a book and notebook, wallet and business cards, and of course, I make sure that everything matches. I'll be writing a post about all the OCD things I do that makes Sylvain laugh. Hopefully, you'll laugh too :)
--I now have several new addictions to keep me busy: organizing/renovating my house, eBay, Twitter, a couple new writing projects I'm working on, completing my book collection (this is actually a lifetime thing), Greek salad, my new side business (more about that later on), my cats (that's nothing new), and my new book club.
--I got a part-time job in the fall, and it's been going really well. I actually quite enjoy it, and I've been working a lot lately because we lost some staff. I work part-time at the Super 8 Hotel, doing mostly paperwork and filing and customer service. My boss gets me to do a lot of the writing and paperwork and translation because she knows I love it. (I get to paid to put things in alphabetical order; it's like a dream come true. I swear that in another life, I was a secretary extraordinaire). I also JUST got called to work at the local Library this summer as an on-call/casual staff. I'm SO excited :D (For those of you who don't know, I'm currently studying to become a Librarian, so this is like OMFG for me).
--As mentioned, I've been working on some new writing projects. Since my new diagnosis, I've been continuing my book The Chronicles of my Mental Decline. It's turning into a really fun book, and it's WAY better than I ever hoped it would be. I'll be posting excerpts every now and then. I also started a collection of short stories about life here in Campbellton, the people I've been meeting, tales from the hotel, and some family anecdotes. I'm actually really proud of this one, and I can't wait to share it with all of you. Still no title for this one yet though.
I think that's all the rambling I have for now, but this week, there will be plenty of new posts about what I've been using to keep myself happy, my list of writing tips, as well as pictures of the new house, and several more of my cats :)
Thanks to everyone for listening to my morning madness; I love you all for it. xoxoxoxoxo times a million <3
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